Some Things You Always Remember.

They say there are times in your life that stick with you always and help to make you them person you are. I can think of several of those times that are stuck in my mind and when the anniversary of those dates come up I think about them. This year marks the 20th anniversary of one of those days.

In March of 1991 I was a young Airman aboard the Aircraft Carrier USS Abraham Lincoln while we were working through our Battle Group Evaluation in preparation for our upcoming deployment to the Arabian Gulf. It was an awesome time in my life. I was on top of my game, moving my way up the ladder, newly married with a beautiful baby boy, and looking forward to going on deployment – Living the Adventure. This was the first step in the tactical and operational side of being in the Navy and I was really enjoying it. It was like we were in a dream world of some sci-fi movie, but life was about to take an abrupt turn that would snag us all back to reality.

On the evening of March 20th and the early morning of March 21st I was working a tactical station in the Antisubmarine Warfare (ASW) Module aboard Lincoln. We were simulating wartime operations off the coast of Southern California. From Lincoln we were working the radios giving tactical information to the P-3C antisubmarine aircraft working with the battle group.

Over the course of the first aircraft’s on-station time, myself and our radar operator spent about six hours on the radio with the initial aircraft and later spent time with the second plane coming on-station to relieve the initial Plane. Around 2:30 am the two aircraft began talking to each other and turning over the submarine prosecution. Shortly after the two aircraft began this procedure we received radio communications from one of our helicopters and one of our escort ships saying they had just seen a large explosion and flames coming from the direction of the two P-3C aircraft.

As the initial shock of the situation wore off, we realized that our simulated battle scenario had just turned into a full scale real-time Search and Rescue (SAR) Mission. Working in the world of Aviation Antisubmarine Warfare in the Navy means that you are a member of an extremely small community of people who tend to know just about everyone else in your field. So the thoughts of possibly trying to save someone you knew became very real for us all; however, the reality of the situation was that these were two very large aircraft and there was very little chance that these two aircraft were not destroyed along with their crews. We would later find out that our fears were realized and that 27 of our friends had paid the ultimate price.

We spent the next couple of days coordinated and conducting SAR ops while only pulling wreckage from the water. Sometime during that period a small contingent of officers from the two planes’ squadron came to the carrier to begin the process of investigating the events to determine how this all happened. With them they brought a list of people onboard those aircraft and everyone involved in the ASW and SAR effort on Lincoln knew someone on that list. For me it was a young man I went through aircrew school with and later was at primary school with. He went to P-3’s and I got to go the Boat. I can remember when we got our orders how jealous I was initially, then thinking during that time how glad I was to be on the boat, and then later how bad I felt for feeling that way.

When we returned home I was glad to be home and held my wife and child with a newfound thankfulness to be with them. Later I would testify at the official board of inquiry. I would not wish that on anyone, especially when the families are there. There is no real way to comfort a family who just lost a loved one and I felt helpless to do anything for them. It made me think hard about how someone would have to comfort my wife should something happen to me. It was my biggest fear while serving in the Navy. I also learned that while having a career as a Navy Aircrewman was and is one of the best career paths a sailor can have, it can also be one of the most dangerous – and harshest.

I look back on that time and it is still as hard to think about now as it was to deal with then. How simple and fragile life truly is and how much we make of the things that we should probably let go of. I still get fired up about things from time to time and still overreact about things (probably more often than I should – my wife tells me so). But I always think about it later and then think about those times in life that make you realize how small some of those annoyances truly are and should be. It was twenty years ago today that one of those events happened.

Take Care Brian,
Bill