The last few weeks there have been a string of Rocky movies shown
on TV. I didn’t think much of it but very few people outside of the 007 family
have played a character as often as Sylvester Stallone has played the Italian
Stallion. Six times Sly put on the boxing shorts to portray his pugilist alter-ego
and while many movie geeks like me know them all, I feel some sense of
responsibility top my friends to take this opportunity to give you a short
synopsis of the movies and whether they are worth watching or not.
ROCKY – The original and possibly the best of the six. A
down-and-out Rocky Balboa is given the fairytale opportunity to fight for the
World Heavyweight Championship against the reigning champion, Apollo Creed.
Rocky is mentally slow (think sloth slow) but is a good natured guy everyone
wants to cheer for. The outcome seems inevitable with an underdog beating the
established champion, but I won’t ruin it as this was an outstanding movie made
for a sequel set-up!
Watchability Factor – Have to see!
ROCKY II – The sequel was nearly as good as the original and
was set up to let the once-upon-a-time underdog finish the job and bring home
the championship! This sequel is somewhat predictable, but there are a view storylines
thrown in to help to make this a fuller sequel than normal. I can guarantee
that you will feel good when this movie ends.
Watchability Factor – Have to see this one also!
ROCKY III – Another Sequel that builds on the Rocky legend
and shows how a champion’s career can be manipulated to make a less than
stellar champion look legendary and then how that champion can overcome not
only their place in life, but there lack of confidence once it is shaken. This movie
is less dramatic than the first two; however, it is still quite entertaining
and would have been a good spot to end the series.
Watchability Factor – Got to see Mr. T!
ROCKY IV – Maybe one of the last great Cold War Era Soviets-against-Americans
Movies made. The Italian Stallion takes on the indestructibly juiced-up soviet boxing
machine Named Ivan Drago - Terrifying. After the stereotypically named Ivan
kills Rocky’s friend, the Stallion heads to Russia to train to challenge the
Soviet Threat like every good American should. The final fight scene is okay
and includes possibly one of the best Mikhail Gorbachev look-a-likes you’ll ever
see. The final fight will get you motivated and you will really think this
movie is great until Rocky grabs the microphone after the fight and goes all
diplomatic on us. It one of those moments in movies where you can actually find
yourself feeling embarrassed for the title character – OOOF! This should have
been the end of the series!!!
Watchability Factor – Worth watching at least once.
ROCKY V – HOLY COW I still
can’t believe they made this movie. I’ll give you a synopsis because
this one is way too painful to watch….READY? Rocky loses all his money and has
to go back to the Philly streets, he channels his inner Mickey, finds a young
fighter to train, builds said fighter up, loses said fighter to a “Don King”
look-a-like, and just when you think you have some idea where this one is going
the young fighter comes back to find Rocky and challenge him to a…wait for it…a
street fight! This is where Rocky whips the younger fighter and the movie
blesses us all with ending.
Watchability Factor – NONE! This is a train-wreck that no
one should stop and watch.
ROCKY VI – In the Mid-80s a comedian made a joke about a
Rocky movie where the gray-haired Italian Stallion makes a return to whip a
20-something fighter in the ring. Sound a little bit far-fetched? Well apparently
not to Hollywood execs since they made it! Storyline – when a video game
simulation says that Rocky in his prime could beat the current champ, the
current champ challenges a 65ish year-old Rocky to a fight. Don’t waste your
time, Rocky wins and then goes through airport security in Australia and gets
caught with more performance enhancing drugs than Jose Canseco had in his
hey-day…Oh wait a minute; the last part was the real-life portion of it all.
Watchability Factor – VERY LITTLE. If you’re hung over and
can’t change the channel I guess.
That’s it for the ROCKY series. Stay tuned for my next analysis.
YO ADRIAN!!!!
Later,
Bill
